I think I finally figured it out. I’ve been wondering for weeks now why so many voters know that John McCain is lying and either seem to believe his obvious and vicious untruths against their better judgments or simply don’t care. And it occurred to me a little while ago that that’s the answer: they don’t care that he’s lying because he’s not lying to them! He’s lying to his opposition. His supporters already know what he stands for and what he’s going to do, so rather than having to discuss issues, he simply spins out yarn after yarn of meaningless drivel and, with a metaphorical wink and a nod to his supporters, he smiles and repeats. It’s like they’re in on some little secret together, the big joke on the Obama campaign. He’s lying, but he’s lying so that he can get into a position to give his supporters a ban on abortion, a ban on gay marriage, Christian prayer in public schools, less pay for women, and every other thing that they want. Do the lies really matter if he’s not lying to you?

This furthers the whole anti-elitest, yokel-vote, “I’d drink beer with him” mentality that has become so prevalent in this country. Listen to me and listen to me carefully: the president has better things to do than drink beer with you. Theoretically, they should be running the country. The sitting president has made time for quite a bit of beer-drinking while taking vacations at his ranch, but when he drinks a beer, it’s with rich CEOs who make multi-million dollar bonuses every year. He doesn’t care about you. John McCain doesn’t care about you, he cares about the corporate officers that fund his campaigns, the lobbyists who are running his campaign (including his campaign manager, Rick Davis, who’s a lobbyist for Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac), and the religious extremist leaders who form his base. He will never have a beer with you, ever, not in your entire life. You can knock on the door of all nine (not seven, as originally reported) of his houses and you will be turned away from each and every one. Do you know why?

Because John McCain is an elitist. He is the son of an admiral, the grandson of an admiral, never wanted for anything in his life, married to a beauty queen heiress, has more houses than he can count, and has no clue what the average American goes through. He is certainly more of an elitist than the guy who was raised by a single mother and his grandparents and worked his way through three world-class colleges. Please, for the love of God, let’s stop pretending that John McCain is somehow a man of the people.

And even if he was, so what? You know what, I want my leaders to be smarter than I am. I want them to have loads of doctorates on every subject from Economics to Poli Sci to International Relations. I want them to have written papers, taught classes, and advanced new and innovative ideas regarding the subject of governing. If at all possible, I want them to have a vocabulary that makes me look like George W. Bush and use words so big and impressive that television network execs wring their hands over whether or not they have time in the broadcast to show the clip. Our leaders should be wiser, more thoughtful, and quicker witted than us, or we wouldn’t need them. The ability to get schnockered with a leader should not be a qualification that we seek out. In fact, from the minute you take that oath of office, I’d prefer if your blood alcohol level never rises above .02 until your term or terms are over.

Today I was listening to several radio programs on the long trip back from Coral Springs, all of them political. I had downloaded Friday’s edition of The Rachel Maddow Show (I love podcasts), the audio from Friday’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann, and the Sunday edition of the Sean Hannity Show. Now, I try very hard to be objective when I can. I make every effort to listen to opposing points of view and consider them objectively. It’s not always easy, but I do try. And you know what?

I wouldn’t trust Sean Hannity to wash my windshield. I’m not sure if he’s deluded, or deliberating trying to deceive the American people (he has one of those faces that makes it seem like he could be a genuine idiot meat-puppet), but he does realize that it takes roughly ten seconds to fact-check the things he says, especially when real journalists are broadcasting the truth on a near constant basis on any reputable station in the country, right? He was harping on the idea that it’s ridiculous that Obama is claiming that McCain’s ad about him wanting to teach “comprehensive sex education to kindergarteners” is a lie. More to the point, he presented what he claimed was the proposed curriculum for sex education had this piece of legislation passed in which it describes exactly what would be taught. He claimed that Level 1, ages 5-8 suggested “That there are places on boys and girls that feel good to touch…” should be taught. Hannity goes on, and I don’t have the audio handy to get an exact quote so I’ll paraphrase that the suggestions get more and more ludicrous (conveniently, they rise in possible offense), suggesting that internal and external genitalia, STDs, and full descriptions of sexual intercourse be taught as well.

Now, I’m not necessarily saying that this “curriculum” was made up. However, I did try to find it and haven’t yet been able to. I’ve read the law and can’t seem to find a specific curriculum with “levels” outlined in it at all. He did quote part of the actual legislation, “Course material and instruction shall teach pupils …how to say no to unwanted sexual advances and shall include information about verbal, physical, and visual sexual harassment, including without limitation nonconsensual sexual advances, nonconsensual physical sexual contact, and rape by an acquaintance,” however he claimed that this was part of the “Level 1 agenda. To be taught to 5 to 8 year-olds!”

Mr. Hannity, I know you work for Faux News and have a rabid, thoughtless, and fully-Party-approved agenda that doesn’t include novel concepts like facts, tolerance, or human decency, but do you have no scruples whatsoever? I mean, this type of world-class misrepresentation of the truth cannot be a natural talent, so I wonder where you learned how to make it seem to natural? This type of lazy, biased, partisan reporting is beyond reproach, and what’s sad is that you and your friends capture the attention of a good portion of this country, people who are supposed to be educated adults. Perhaps we do need a change from the “public school monopoly on education” as Senator McCain has put it if it’s produced that many people who view and listen to your show not for contrast or even a good laugh, but because they believe that you’re being straight with them. I can only assume that you, like Senator McCain, have a loyal following who listen to your deceit and hear that wink and smile in your voice promising them that all they have to do is repeat after him and soon all their dreams of over the counter firearms, Christian public schools, and state-enforced abstinence will be the reality of America.

Does it even matter any more, Mr. Hannity, that you’ve discredited yourself time and time again among people who bother to check your outrageous and slanderous claims? Does it matter to you that you’ve subverted the very purpose of human communication, to transfer information? Perhaps this sounds melodramatic, but when things have gotten to the point that the number of lies is larger than the number of truths you tell, doesn’t it then render everything you say meaningless?

Perhaps none of that bothers you, though. And I, watching both you and Senator McCain repeat the blatantly false to the American people, cannot help but be sad to live in a country where my fellow citizens are so easily fooled. Senator McCain is only a fit leader if you want the American people lead astray. However, I can tell from the way you abhor honesty that that is precisely what you do want. And the 47% of Americans who are in on the joke will likely take comfort in that when they are jobless, homeless, and unable to make medical decisions for themselves without state approval.