I don’t often say stuff like this, especially on LJ, but I’m kinda not great at the moment. I had a fabulous night last night until about 11, just before I had to go to bed. Suddenly, I got this horrible feeling like something was wrong, and it depressed me into a state of insomnia so acute that I couldn’t go to sleep. I simply didn’t want to. And I didn’t want to stay up. I didn’t want to do anything that involved changing what I might have been doing at that very moment, which happened to be sit there and stare at nothing. Around 2am I managed to get to bed and sleep.

This morning I started to swing the other way, but the results of last night’s feelings hit me and knocked me back into a state of fugue with an anxiety chaser. I know it’s unfounded, and will only cause more trouble for me in the near future, but I don’t have the energy to listen to the bouncy music that normally makes me happy, and the only things I really have the will to do are write this, click the button looking for work, and occasionally move my left leg that seems to keep falling asleep no matter what position I leave it in.

I’ll get over this, and when I do I’ll post my normal positive, optimistic, up-beat-type update, but I needed to get this out so I’d be doing something.